Yesterday at my internship, my sweet boss was flipping through books of swatches trying to decide on dresses for her bridesmaids. She finally got it narrowed down to a few option, but I thought it was funny how she was so sure who her bridesmaids would be but that picking their dresses was so difficult. It got me thinking about what people consider when deciding who to have up at the altar with them. To help anyone in this position, here are a few little tips and trick to deciding who to ask to be their bridesmaids!
Think about it, then think again. It can be easy to call up a ton of your friends right after you fiancé pops the question, but it’s best to take a beat. Think about who you are really close with, who would be responsible enough to handle the role and who you think will still be a part of your life a few years from now.
Size Matters. It’s not a rule, but typically the size of a bridal party is representative of the size of the guest list. For larger weddings, it’s perfectly acceptable to have bridal parties of anywhere from 8 to 12. For smaller weddings, you probably only need 4 to 6 attendants. (That’s a discussion J and I keep tossing back and forth–we want a small wedding but he insists he needs 5 groomsmen. Kinda seems like half the guests would be at the altar if we went with even numbers–it’s always an interesting discussion)
Consider Other Options. If there are people you want to have a place in your big day, but they may not fit into the wedding party for whatever reason, think about making them ushers or house party girls. They will appreciate just being able to help you out.
Don’t Forget Family. Chances are, you brothers and sisters will be in your life for a long time, and they are probably a big part of your life already. Make sure they are included in your wedding party, either side. For larger families, other roles in the service might be a good option for the younger sibs.
Don’t Feel Like You Have to Fit a Mold. So you have a guy who’s as close as your girls, make him brides man! You have a ton of friends, sorority sisters and family standing by your side but your groom just has his best bros? Your numbers don’t necessarily have to be even! And if you don’t feel the need to have flower girls or ring bearers, don’t feel pressured to have them! The bottom line is it’s your day, so make it how you want with the most important people in your lives.
Bonus: Selecting your Maid of Honor. Trying to decide which of your maids should be your maid of honor can be an easy call or you could be on the fence. Don’t just assume it needs to be your best friend in the whole world. If she’s notoriously flakey or isn’t very organized, picking another more organized maid to be your honor attendant could be the better way to go. Also consider distance and other responsibilities. If someone has a strenuous job or lives across the country, she may not be able to handle the role, no matter how much she may like to. If you select a maid of honor other than the “obvious” choice, be sure to talk to you bestie and explain your decision. You could also select two maids of honor so that you know things will get done between the two of them.